nausea

i feel sick to my stomach. i made an appointment for tomorrow to get pre approved for a mortgage... and i'm nervous as hell. i mean i'm excited too... don't get me wrong.

but as someone who's never bought a house before, it's nerve wracking.

i talked to my dad who said he had some money put aside to help me out.. which makes me feel better but worse at the same time. my huge pride may have to be put on the back burner for the time being, and accept his help.. at least for a down payment.. but i told him i don't want to owe him anything, and i've done a pretty good job making it on my own for a long time.

is it stupid for me to think this way?

my sister has no problem asking him for money, but i've never really asked for anything.. i've always maintained that i have to do and provide everything for myself. i put myself through college, i've never borrowed money for rent, groceries or anything... and a few times i could have really used the help but refused to ask for it.

so do i accept help? or do i protest?

dilemma.